Overwhelmed.

You know what I find hardest to do? It's to come up with an opening for my blog post. Problem is, I can't seem to find a decent beginning to it. I think an introduction is mandatory. Mandatory enough to leave a mark on the reader's mind. But, wait. I only have a hand-full of them. So I guess it doesn't matter. No, please don't leave. I still love you guys. Thank you for reading through this, and please do continue til the end. It's okay, leave if you must. Whatever. No nvm.

I have an attention span of a ...SQUIRREL! Yesh. I kid you not. While I'm here typing away, I have a few other tabs on other social websites. And one of them being Tumblr. I'm sure all you Tumblr people out there will prolly know how addicting it gets. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I haven't been completely blogging for quite some time. Fortunately for me, my blog has been frequented by some of my friends and Aini in particular threatening me to cough something out. COUGHS/ 

My life has had its fair share of roller coaster rides of emotions. Things happen and it only makes me think about life a little bit deeper and what I want from it. Obviously the best because my parents have worked so hard to give me a proper future, teach me to walk in the path of what a God-fearing woman should be like and have enough self-respect to walk away from things killing me from the inside. I hope I haven't let them down. 

I've never been the person who likes being alone. I use to try my level best to surround myself with people, thinking like it could do my self-esteem some good. It did just that. It made me less socially-awkward than I was before, made tonnes of loving friends and gave my confidence a proper boost that it needed. Ironically, even after all that, I felt like things weren't quite right. Being surrounded by people, basking in their attention and soaking in all the vibes are fine, but unconsciously, its draining. To be honest, I don't know if I was meant to be that way, all fine and jolly in my exterior, or is it all just a facade. I have been questioning myself on alot of things lately, like how come the food in the fridge can vanish within days and who has been stealing my supply of  Serotonin and Endorphin chemicals-Dark Chocolates. 

I've been spending some time alone and I seem to love my own company. Call me a narcissist but I think you should try it sometimes. It gives me space, time to breathe and time to figure out if I would prefer more sauce on my 6-inch Subway or not at all cus its fattening. Instead of having people in your face for the whole entire time, spending some quality time doing you is good. And it's healthy. I would quote some stuffs here but I'm just too lazy to. 

All these times, I've had this false thinking like people who like spending time alone has some form of depression, or was typically emo for no apparent reasons.Boy, was I naive and utterly wrong about it. But I understand now, the importance of having your own space, doing the things that makes you happy for once. 

Maybe I'm just at a phase of finding myself. I hope I find myself soon, because I'm getting real impatient. In the meantime, I'm grateful to have had the pleasurable experience of going through life's challenges. At least I know that God loves me enough to put me to the test and help me learn to be someone who is capable of facing so much more in the future. Life doesn't stop for no one. Not you. Not me. 

The rest is still unwritten.